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The 18 funniest golf terms and phrases that will make you laugh

To the uninitiated, conversations between golfers are spoken in what seems like an entirely different language. Golf has so many terms and phrases that are unique to the sport, some easier to understand than others.

We are going to take a look at the funniest of these golf sayings, so that next time you are out on the course you can hopefully give your playing partners a good chuckle.

These are 18 of the funniest golf sayings (and what they mean):

1. Army golf

“Left – right – left”

Army golf is a phrase used to describe consecutive shots that go from one side of the rough to the other, easily bypassing the intended target. Hitting golf shots to a marching rhythm.

2. Dance floor

The dance floor is a commonly used term for the putting surface. If you are nowhere near the hole, you are ‘on the dance floor, but you can’t hear the music’.

3. Worm burner

A golf shot that stays incredibly low to the ground, often as the result of a shot hit thin.

4. Fried egg

This is a funnier way to say that your ball is plugged in a bunker. You can only see the top half of the ball, because the other half is buried. The result resembles that of a fried egg.

5. Foot wedge

When you literally use your foot as a wedge. Clearly cheating and used to get a better lie, this is a term to use if one of your golf buddies likes to bend the rules in your social game.

6. Yips

A psychological affliction that stops golfers from smoothly making a putting stroke and causes them to miss short putts.

It is essentially a quick wrist spasm that can have a serious impact on any golfer’s ability to enjoy the sport.

7. Shanks

Shhh… You are not supposed to say this word on the golf course for the fear of it spreading throughout the group.

A shank is when the ball hits the hosel of the golf club and heads straight right. Golfers are known to randomly ‘catch the shanks’ and it destroys rounds. It is funny when it’s not you!

8. Were you laying up?

One way to goad your playing partner after a poor shot. If they were intended to hit the green, but the golf made it nowhere near – you can ask them “were you laying up?”

9. Feeding the fish

A golf ball that ends up in the water is said to be feeding the fish.

10. Cabbage/jungle

The thickest, seemingly inescapable, rough.

11. Hosel rocket

This is another way of saying a shank.

12. Oscar Bravo

Another way of saying OB (Out of Bounds).

13. Texas wedge

A shot that does not involve a wedge at all, but actually refers to using your putter from off the green.

This could be a good tactic when a chip is too risky, or maybe your chipping just lacks a little bit of skill.

14. Bandit

No, not the Wild West outlaw type of bandit, although you can see the similarity.

In golf a bandit is someone that has a handicap that is higher than their actual ability. This might be done purposefully or not, but they often seem to take home the money at the end of the day’s play.

15. Weekend warrior

A golfer that only manages to play on the weekends.

16. Hacker/Duffer

A derogatory term for a terrible golfer. Somebody that hacks or duffs it around the course.

17. Knee-knocker

A short, but difficult putt that you could easily miss. Causing the golfer to knock their knees together whilst trembling in fear.

When a golfer leaves a knee-knocker after their first putt, you tell them that “there is a bit of meat left on that bone”.

18. Whiff

A complete ‘air shot’ that makes no contact with the golf ball. Normally to the complete hilarity of all playing partners that witnessed it firsthand.


That completes our list of funny golf terms and phrases, which hopefully have given you a bit of a laugh reading through.

Golf has an almost endless amount of sayings, but knowing a couple of these common ones will help you get involved with the friendly banter next time you are out on the golf course.